Got Your Trick Now

 

Early on my kids know where we’re good at as parents.   Language Arts, Issues and Idiosyncrasies are my forte. But inadequate in the practical and mechanical stuff. Mur is a Math expert, adept in check balancing and watching sales. So my kids learned who to ask their studies, growing up, life, and allowance.

 

Farrah, my youngest, for two Saturdays – playing smart or dumb posed questions which ignited us to a long debate till nine in the evening, then said, “Got to go guys, my sleeping times”, leaving us with her all-knowing smile.

 

She did it again! Avoiding her turn to wash the dishes. Come Sunday morning, since, it’s my turn, the dishes waited for me to do them.

 

I must stop her style! Came next Saturday, I waited for her M.O. It came. Her query, heavier.

 

“Pops. Two questions.”  I crunched drumstick chicken then. “Why do horses walk on their hands?” A thumb size bone shoot down in my throat, and, “what’s the difference between testicles and tentacles?” I fell from my chair.
Laughter exploded. I looked at Mur seeking help. Her eyes said. That’s yours! Good for you!

 

Faye, 12, my eldest daughter, focused on Farrah’s second question. During the last two debates, her Kuya won on man-woman issues. This time she prepared her munition. Ferdie do the same.

 

I started my twenty minutes speech why horses walks on their hands, which made Farrah more confused. I sensed her desperation, regretting she asked. Mur pissed off. too. “Can’t you explain it, simply.

 

“The simple answer is, horses don’t, when they fight…”

 

“You’re right, Pops.” Farrah said.

 

I got problems with Farrah’s second question. I could say that testicles is that pair of a ball hanging out in between a man’s legs, and it’s a sperm storage. But this can prolong the discussion. She can ask, if she can play with it?  If that sperm can shampoo her hair to make a perm? I’ve no idea, how to answer that!

 

Good, Faye came to my rescue.

 

Faye stood up, walked to the fridge and took out two cantaloupes, holding it as if endorsing a bowling lane to go to, aiming the ball at her Kuya’s head – “Farrah, these are testicles. And she rolled the cantaloupes in our dining room floor. Faye returned to her seat, smirked at her Kuya, confident she made a striking statement.

 

Ferdie retaliated. He stood up sneered at Faye, and said: Farrah, tentacles are Faye’s busy tongue, he stuck out his tongue, pulled and coiled it as a rope to his neck. Then said, tentacles can kill same as Faye’s tongue. Trudge back to his seat. Victorious!

 

“Why can’t you just say, it’s the one that dangles in men, carrying it with dignity. Mur said. The children kept quiet.

 

“Farrah, testicles are little pouch in a man’s body that stores male hormones,”. I said.

 

“Are we Mormon Pops? Are we not Catholics?”

 

“HORMONES not MORMON,”

 

“Oh!”

 

“Now. Tentacles. They are long, slender, flexible, snake-like boneless growth on the head on mollusk animals,”

 

“Pops. You’re not answering my question very well.”

 

“Okay. Farrah. For now, I’ll do your dishes. But for next Saturday, even if you come up with outrageous questions. Do your dishes Okay!. Got your trick now,”